10 post-labor pains you should prepare for and how to remedy [most] of them.
Okay, ladies. You’re about to push a baby out of your hooch. Then what? There are a few things you should know. This post isn’t meant to scare you but to prepare you for the inevitable. There will be blood, there will be pain and suffering but most importantly, there will be an awesome little person to remind you that it’s all worth it. No pressure, though. Just kidding. The vag pressure starts when it’s time to push and the parenting pressure never really goes away. But there’s always wine!
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There will be hemorrhoids. If you push, they will come. Yes, they. You didn’t know you could get multiple hemorrhoids of different sizes AT THE SAME TIME? Consider yourself warned. These things were the literal pain in my ass throughout my entire healing process until I found these. GET YOU SOME. I could walk decently again the next day. It was amazing. Tucks pads are also a life saver.
When your water breaks and you have a long labor, chances are there will be chafing. My waters seeped continuously for 16 hours. There was an absorbent sheet on the hospital bed but it apparently didn’t do its job because the next day my bottom looked like it had suffered 3rd degree burns. After a week, the skin started coming off and I believe I asked Jesus to take me from this Earth. Thankfully, He didn’t. He just let me run across a cream called Calmoseptine. This stuff if AMAZING for any kind of chaffing or skin irritation. Once I got over the embarrassment of my husband applying it for me, it was a gift from the Heavens. Thank you, Lord for Calmoseptine.
A lot of women swell during pregnancy. You also swell after delivery. All of that extra fluid has to go somewhere, right? My feet turned into boats. Straight, Bass Tracker. I bet I could have walked on water with them thangs. Not much you can do for swelling apart from keeping your feet elevated and drinking plenty of water. Drink fluid to get rid of fluid, because that makes sense. It works, though.
4.) Breast Pain
Here comes the milk! Your boobs fill up with liquid gold and it feels like solid gold. There’s so much pressure. They’re SO tender and not in the good “I just got them done” way. Not to mention you will have a little vampire chomping at the bit to get some of that nourishment. This is a good thing. It’s one way to get rid of the pressure. Nurse, nurse, nurse! The downside of this is that your nipples will catch hell until they get used to it. Have lanolin and a nipple shield on-hand just in case. Some other ways to ease the pain are pumping, massaging in a hot shower and warm compresses. Remember this is temporary, usually just lasting a few days.
I tore with my first. Didn’t feel it happening (thank you, epi) but I sure felt it when I went to pee that night. The hospital-provided peri bottle will be your best friend. DO NOT wipe. Fill that little bottle of relief with warm water and wash away the nasty. “Padsicles” also work miracles. Get some maxi-pads, pour on some witch hazel and freeze a week or 2 before your due date. Instant frozen relief. Your vajay will thank you.
I noticed some numbness and a little back pain for a few months after delivery. It wasn’t a big deal and doesn’t happen to everyone but I want to mention it. The anesthesiologist will go into detail about possible effects from the epi so make sure to listen through your intense contractions. Better said than done but try not to scream at him/her to just give you the juice.
If you don’t already know the feeling of true exhaustion, you will after giving birth and caring for a newborn. It’s unavoidable. There will probably be tears when you’re up at 4 am, struggling to get your baby to latch on for 45 minutes. You might be tempted to give them a bottle and you know what? If your little one can take formula that is perfectly okay. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure you’ve heard the advice “sleep when baby sleeps.” I cannot stress how imperative this is. Yes, you will have a million things to do but most are not a priority. Your rest IS. It is incredibly hard those first few weeks and if mama isn’t functioning, ain’t nobody functioning. Sleep, woman. You will reap the benefits.
Colace. Dulcolax, prune juice. You naaaaaame it! Get you something to move things along because constipation is a serious ass-kicker after you give birth. Even if there isn’t any bowel obstruction happenin’, get you something to soften things up. I’m being real here. Straining with hemorrhoids and/or stitches is HELL.
Moderate cramping is normal as your uterus shrinks back to its normal size. If you notice more cramping when nursing, don’t stress! That’s normal, too. Baby is just helping it shrink down a little faster.
10.) Hair Loss
Okay, so this technically isn’t a literal “pain” but it sure is a figurative pain in the ass. My son is 6 months old and I’m still clogging up the drain with every shower. There’s a layer of hair on the floor of every room. My poor vacuum cleaner does it’s best but damn. I have no remedy for this but if you do, for the love of God, please leave it in the comments. I’m going to be bald by June at this rate. The hair loss is totally normal and I’ve heard it should resolve itself by the 6 month mark. It did with my first, guess my last born just did me in.
So there you have it. 10 post labor pains that you should know about. I hope I didn’t scare you too much! Just know that the reason behind these pains make them all so worth it. At the time, it feels like hell but after it’s all said and done, you look at that sweet little face and know you would go through it all over again. Even the hemorrhoids.
I am not a doctor or health professional. Any advice in this post should be taken with a grain of salt. If you have ANY questions or concerns post-delivery you should consult with your doctor.
Every product linked in this post is an item that I have personally used and genuinely recommend.
This is based on my 2 vaginal births. No discrimination towards cesarean mamas, I have just never experienced one. If you have had a cesarean delivery, please give us some insight on your recovery in the comments. I can’t imagine going through the things on this list and healing from being sliced open. You the real MVP!